Saturday 22 April 2017

Draft essay feedback from Linden

I had a telephone tutorial with Linden, giving feedback on my draft essay.  She has a way of getting straight to the heart of the matter.

When I wrote the essay, I found the most difficult part was defining what I meant by Value.  So I wrote the body of the essay first, then a conclusion, then the introduction.  By which time I was very close to total word count.  This meant I did not give enough explanation about what I was considering, or my terminology.  Neither did I relate the quotes to each other.  Linden said the body of the essay was well argued and fluent (where I knew what I was talking about!), but the introduction and conclusion were not.  She homes straight in on the weaker bits.  This is so refreshing and helpful!

Things I need to get into the essay:

I am looking at how values operate in the real world - not in politics, faith etc
Think about Theories. How different theorisers have structured what their theory achieves.
Think about how to introduce theories - "according to ...;  ... discusses/explores
Define how the dictionary definition is unhelpful, how it is contentious as a noun.
State I am looking at issues of value, and further subdivide to issues of gender and value.
Keep referring back to Kohlberg's theory; focus on his research gathering data from men, then applying it to women.

We discussed the need to be precise and concise.  I am over the word count already.  I will try to prune it, but suspect I need to drop a whole paragraph to get anywhere near a low enough word count.

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