Here I am writing what comes to mind, from terms used by contributors to my values table, or phrases I have identified in relation to my values.
Pushing Boundaries
Pushing Boundaries is important to me. I consciously started pushing boundaries when a particular opportunity that I wanted, turned out to be permanently closed to me. My way of dealing with one door being permanently closed, was to make another one open. I very much needed to achieve something significant.
Earlier in my life, I realise I had already been pushing boundaries, but this was to overcome other issues. The disappointment of my mother. She was disappointed that I was not a wife and mother, nor a middle class housewife. She thought a subservient clerical job was an achievement! 'Don't answer back', 'You've got to be grateful for your job'. 'But I'm really bored'. At this stage I had not realised I was bored because, actually, I was quite bright. So, pushing boundaries:
- Worked in HR in a junior management role - beyond the secretarial role, serving a man, writing his words. White collar admin role was what my Mum wanted. But I was bored. And I knew I could write my own words! I ran recruitment schemes; managed trainees; conducted discipline; presented to professional engineering organisations. Terrified but part of the role. Discovered the ability to work an audience.
- Professional qualification. Career, not a job. I was starting to recognise I was not just filling in time, working until I got married and had babies. I persuaded my female boss to sponsor me for a professional qualification - IPD. Was I clever enough to pass professional exams? Would I have anything sensible to contribute in class?
- Challenged my boss when I discovered she was disdainful of my relationship because my partner was 24 years older than me. The team were equally catty about her not having a relationship at all! - Starting to give my views, when I knew they would be unpalatable, back to management.
- Operational management. Could I manage shift work? I wanted to earn serious money. This meant I had to hack the shifts. Could I cope with the blue collar manual environment? Turned out the staff were no problem - my peer group and senior managers were.
- Arguing for equal pay claims for self and others. Refusing to be fobbed off. I negotiated 5% and 15% for self. Taking on others equal pay claims. Everyone I advised, won. All of them were either black or female!
- Going to uni as a mature student. Worrying that I was not bright enough, intellectually or creatively, to keep up. Worrying that I was too old to interact with trendy young students.
- Taking severance to move to retired status. Terrified about leaving a well paid job with fantastic benefits. Will I have enough to live on? Will I be able to keep myself productively occupied?
- Going to Study Abroad. Absolutely terrified me. But if I don't go, I will be bored. I don't know where I am going to live. Never lived in rented accommodation. Never lived abroad. Different education system - will I keep up? Culture shock. Rose to challenge - had to rise a long way! Had to HUGELY raise my game to keep up.
Am I still pushing my boundaries now? Not really. Not in comparison to what I have done before.
"Sometimes people need to be given a firm push in the right direction - Go fly!".
Soup/Flask
I make soup as I need to take on more fluids so I don't turn into my mother. I know I don't drink enough, and I keep forgetting to drink, but I like soup so it's one way of getting fluids into me. Home made soup is ore nutritious than shop. It usually uses ingredients that are free - home grown fresh veg; or cheap - lentils; or leftovers/stock - which avoids waste. I abhor waste. Why do we put so much into landfill? Waste really bothers me, so we try not to create it.
The flash is an effective way of transporting soup when no microwave is at a venue. Like the Shedio or uni. Also does not nuke the food. Maintains nutrients.
Makes me feel economical and thrifty. This is why I have plenty of money. Don't waste money on shop food - put it to fund my education fees instead.
Eco friendly - best use of resources. Little waste. Fewer food miles.
"Wholesome"
Defending the voiceless and the vulnerable
I have got myself into no end of trouble, usually at work, when I have defended other members of staff. I am naturally vocal and argumentative, especially when I perceive injustice. Sometimes this has meant I have mouthed off when I don't know the full story. But when I think people are treated more severely because of who they are - ethnic minorities, women, gay, disabled, or just unlikely to argue back - I jump into the argument. Like Bhuta, being given a warning, with inadequate fact finding - he was a low caste, low grade, Bangladeshi; Alex, being downgraded, because she was a part-timer with care responsibilities; Anita as a junior clerk being dismissed because of a minor clerical error.
I share my employment law knowledge when illegal actions are being taken against other people. I have a strong sense of justice.
"If you want to discipline Bhuta, you will do a proper fact finding"
Honesty
I find this value difficult to describe. I think honesty makes life easier. Liars need a good memory. I dislike being lied to. If all are treated fairly, then there is no need to lie. Lies cause hurt. Life should have space for disagreement. How does honesty get depicted? What does honesty mean to different people. Where is the space between honesty - telling the truth, and privacy - the right to keep things to oneself.
Caring for the Vulnerable
I find this one difficult as well. Yes, I care for the vulnerable - but only up to a point. I want benefits for people who are unable to work - I was brought up on benefit and my family would be decimated had the state not hugely supported us. But I also see rewarding constant failure leads to dependency - which was my family circumstance. I believe people should be taught how to be independent - to be able to cope with tough times. I try to support those around me, but I am not prepared to be a constant crutch for those who won't support themselves. My Dad completely ran out of good will with me. Yet I do what I can to support my sister-in-law who is a carer. There is something in here about how I will support others 'when it suits me'. I think my honesty here, leads me to say some tough and hurtful things, when I think the vulnerable are playing the system.
Work Ethic
I think my upbringing in a protestant country shows here. I believe I work hard - because it brings financial and creative rewards, leads to mental and financial independence, maintains physical and mental well-being. I have absolutely no time for people who sit around doing nothing, especially when they moan about how hard life is.
No comments:
Post a Comment