Peaking and Troughing

Jim and I went to Sissinghurst today.  It was wonderful.  Lovely gardens themed by colour.  I had never understood the concept of the White Border ... until I saw it!  Hugely varied foliage, soft, wispy, jagged, serrated, pinlike.  And the purple border was wonderful too.  We went to Sissinghurst on a Tuesday, hoping the traffic would be light (it was) and crowds would be minimal (busy but not crowded).  It started to drizzle in the afternoon, but we had done our tour, and I had taken many photos.

Now for the white flowers

Then I had a conversation with a fellow student, which left me demoralised again.  I was explaining how I had found the feedback difficult and was none the wiser, and this person said my work had not progressed beyond stitch panels and maybe the assessors thought my work was not developing.  Which may well be true.  But I don't want the work to develop.  I want the thinking to develop.  In a series of work.  I am really not sure my decision to continue the course is a quality decision.  

Thinking about the presentation we have to to later this term, about what we are doing, how we are doing it, and why we are doing it, makes me come back to why I am stitching.  I do it to facilitate my thinking.  I am not aiming to exhibit (don't need other people liking my work) and I'm certainly not aiming to sell (don't want to dance to anyone else's tune, and don't need the money).  It's not about anyone other than me.  

I feel very demotivated.

Aunt Joan's sampler - thoughts from the swimming pool

Conversation with Allison, my cousin, indicated Aunt Joan got a lot of her ideas about gardening by visiting National Trust gardens.  So, when we visited Hidcote, and saw the red border, I discovered she had planted single colour borders in various gardens she cultivated.

A few days ago I went to Red House when I was fed up with university, and did not need to look at project-relevant work.  I sketched some of the plants in the garden - wisteria and sweet pea in a purple border, and rather fell in love with a very attractive white ornamental thistle.  Then I decided to continue with my university course ... and saw my sketched flowers in a very different light.

So as Aunt Joan's sampler will have 4 borders, what about a different colour in each one?  I can't visit any of the gardens Aunt Joan created:  she died 2 years ago, and all her gardens, from her (many) different homes are now owned by other people.  So the next best thing is to "consult the original source" as we are told to do as students.  So I'm going to visit the original inspiring gardens.  And my National Trust ticket is about to go out of date, so tomorrow I am rushing down to Sissinghurst to draw plants in their white border.

Rose border, courtesy of National Trust 

White border, courtesy of greatbritishgardens

Also while swimming up and down the pool, I thought about the integrity of the assessment process.  My supervisor, Linden, was not involved in assessing my work for Developing Project, or Theory modules.  We have 2 assessors:  mine were Simone as module leader, and (I think) both Nick and Danielle, (as retiring and incoming Course Leaders), neither of whom have been involved in my work.  I believe everyone else had the module leader and their supervisor assess their work.  I find this deeply unsatisfactory and will raise it with Lewis, the module leader for the final module.  If Linden is excluded from my final assessment, I will raise it with the Course Verifier.

Notes of first class for Final Project module

Still feeling demoralised but need to clarify what needs to be done by when.

Within 2 weeks (29 June) Notes on where I am, and where I think I am going.

22 June      Group tutorial

29 June                  Individual tutorials - 30 mins am/pm to be advised.  Walk round MA show site.
                              I won't be here - at a funeral.

6 July.                    Presentations.  Undefined as yet.

Tuesday 8 August  Upload to Turnitin - draft version of report

Thursday 17 Aug.  Module conference.  All day.  30 minute show and tell.
                               What you've done, how you've done it, why you've done it;
                                to inform reviewing your report

Monday 4 Sept.      Final deadline 3pm

7-16 September     MA Show

Final Report

Reviews the whole project
Can use up to 20% of word count from Interim Report

World/environment, practical and intellectual framework i.e. context - refer to greater environment; others who came before and infrastructure.

Clearer and more succinct description of purpose and aims.  Scope of work

How I did it and what decisions I made by methods.

Make an appendix of catalogue of works
- capture the form of the exhibition
- curate this page.  Captions and art descriptions

Ask Linden for an example report.

Critical, reflective examination

Reflection

Conclusion.

Critique - focus on highlights and significant achievements.  Look beyond - where next.  MA level - new knowledge for you, its significance and how to use it.

Appendices:  Log of progress; transcribed notes; catalogue

Can refer back to previous reports.  Don't need to re-quote.

Write for a universal audience.

Use diagrams to illustrate your point.  Visionary and original?

Confused and still demoralised

Linden had asked me to hang fire until she had spoken to Lewis before jacking in the course.

So in very muted form, I attended class today.  Linden had obviously spoken to Lewis, as he was trying to find out our views on the course, while being very nurturing of us.

In Lewis's class we had a long debate about practice based (outcome is apparent in work activity or object produced) -v- practice led (outcome is practical but leads to explanation in writing) research.  Another debate about qualitative and quantitative methods - Gareth phrased it as defined the experiments, tested, decided, evaluated outcomes, images of tests.  Feedback forms handed out, for anonymous(!) response.

By next week we are expected to have:

- Characterised what I am doing, in about 100 words.
- Updated project proposal
   What sort of project is it?  Experimental/Tests/???
   Append the previous materials to final report

- Introduce your Final Project Report with clarity.  Use the present tense.
- Refocus the questions
- Indicate how too many questions in the original proposal were useful
- Show what was useful about the contextual report

- Revisit and refine/tighten the aims
- Have my methods changed?
- Sum up methods
- Indicate ways of using module activities (I can't even remember most of them!)

- Renegotiate project with supervisor
- Negotiate a work programme.

Then I had a tutorial with Linden.  She understands that I am not bothered about the numerical measurement of marking, but I am really upset that I am not grasping the learning on which we are being assessed.

She said my Developing Project Report did not reflect the thinking that had taken place: pushing boundaries; honesty; silhouette; samplers; cross stitch; empirical research.  It was unclear as I had not presented my method as the basis for stitch work.  I need to articulate my own position. (Not sure what this means).

How can your position be presented;
How is it characterised; who do you think does related work (Andrea Deszo, Tilleke Schwartz); or is there no-one exactly in your field (I'm not aware of anyone doing gender and value in stitch);
How is this position articulated through your work;
How can you use your position to develop your studio work and develop articulation of studio work; How to articulate values in your work (Kohlberg and Gilligan);
What alternate theories are there (I think Kohlberg and Gilligan both miss the point, gender values are broader and more diverse than they identify);
How is the framing of value systems relevant to depicting women's values through thread work.

So now I have a good list of questions on which to base my upcoming thinking.  At this stage I'm not at all sure about basic things, such as what is 'my position'. But I think the framing of value systems is critical to it.  How do men and women view women's values - I think each frame position gives a completely different answer.

I need to get on and answer the questions.

I've decided to jack the course in

I've been very unhappy about the MA By Project course for some time.  I have been profoundly dissatisfied with the most recent feedback, and thought I was going to get further discussion last Thursday from the module leader.  But she was too busy and rushed off after our first briefing for the final module.  I then asked the acting course leader for further feedback, including why my supervisor was not involved in my assessment.  He became defensive, telling me how difficult it was for everyone to get together, and how busy he was.  I am still none the wiser for my marks.

I looked up the meaning of the marks.  62% shows 'significant omissions in work'.  But I don't know what these are.  And it appears no-one is going to tell me.  Presumably this is for me to 'self direct' my learning.  I also looked up who should assess my work.  Old materials state 'supervisor and one other' but current materials refer to 'assessors must be competent'.

My marks have been consistently throughout the course - so I am not making progress.  I still have 'significant omissions'.  The final module is no time to be identifying what the significant omissions are.  I cannot put in 50+ hours a week when I don't know where I am failing.  I just don't have those energy levels.  I don't want to be someone who stumbles on through the course and ends up just scraping a pass - I don't see how you can have significant omissions from your learning and still pass.   The way London Met practises offends my value system.  I wanted to be a perpetual student but they have made it a distasteful experience.

I think this shows how poor education at London Met is.  Not only do we not learn, but we don't know why we don't learn.  I think the education system in Britain is totally bastardised.  We've gone over to a business model, where profits are more important, irrespective of whether people have learned.  And the London Met business model includes an accounting system that is non-compliant with basic invoicing law.  The Accounts staff know this, but sit there looking doe-eyed, when it is raised as an illegal action.  So their business model is illegal.

Given the standard of education and abysmal business practices, I do not wish to be associated with London Metropolitan University.  I do not wish to receive a degree from such a sub-standard organisation.  So I am about to remove myself from the course.

Stitch class with Tilleke Schwartz

This weekend Jim and I have been in Manchester, where I attended a class with Tilleke Schwartz.

Last night she did a talk, showing how far textiles can be pushed in feminist art.  There were a lot of images of feminist work.  She made the pertinent observation that textile materials do not have the same male dominated history as other media, e.g. painting and sculpture.  Although, when men do textiles or stitch, it is deemed 'special' more so than anything women produce!  She also commented we have yet to reach a fair price for art created of textiles by women!

Tilleke said that her own work often does not make sense - it does not contain a narrative.  It often has a lot of words and images, but illogically selected and juxtaposed, with words going round corners.  And her work is symptomatic of what is happening in her life and things she sees around her.  Eg Purr Chase (playing on the western world's obsession with 'purchase') - anything that comes along gets put in.  She does not plan her work, but works direct onto the cloth - if you plan exactly, you might as well get someone else to stitch it!  Exactly how I feel about this!

Tilleke Schwartz, Purr Chase 

 She seeks out things that amaze, amuse, inspire her.  Loves samplers but interprets them in a contemporary way.  Sometimes copies motifs (complex) but is not worried when they (inevitably) go wrong.  Also when a motif has been carefully stitched in two different colours, she may interpret in a random dyed thread in similar colours. she distorts motifs deliberately - this makes them contemporary and not an exact facsimile.   Interestingly she had an idea for a sampler for an exhibition at the Fitzwilliam Museum at Cambridge, which was rejected.  (I had my idea for sampler to be displayed there, via a competition rejected too.  Maybe the organisers knew the Fitzwilliam did not accept contemporary samplers for display!)

Tilleke advised people to stitch like they draw.  If you work in the hand (I don't, I like a frame) she advised to keep putting it up on a wall and viewing from a distance.  She said she did not work large - she likes small textiles.  Yet when she showed us her latest work in progress, it was about a metre square.  Wide borders for mounting and framing. Tacked line to define edge of working area, to which she often works.  Uses a lot of couching, cross stitch, satin stitch; occasional French knot.

She advised to mount work for exhibiting in a frame with perspex.  Otherwise people keep touching the stitching to see whether it is real.  If she then sells the piece, the perspex can be removed, so the textile can be appreciated.

In her class we spent the first hour creating collage about ourselves - mine had plants, border patterns,  fruits and my name.  We also had to include things we disliked - so I had a man gobbling a sandwich and grasping hands with painted nails - for greed and avarice.

Then after lunch we started stitching.  I noted her use of thicker threads for couching, distinctive lettering and precise drawn imagery.  Tilleke said she cut out images from thin papered magazines, stitched the outline and tore off the paper.  So I did this with an image of half an orange.  She also said if her outline was too pale, she would restitch an outline or do a satin stitch adjacent to it.  Tilleke demonstrated how she couched her lettering - I had never thought of doing it this way.  She described the couching of curved letters (C, G, S) as an open chain stitch, secured at key points of the curve with a couching stitch.  I practiced on my name, and it gave a very different effect to how I have signed my work before.

A frustrating day

Today was the day when the MABP course received their feedback on the Developing Project Proposal.  I started with a long journey - fatality at Chelmsford meant we were tipped off the train twice and it took 2 hours to get to London.

My tutorial with Linden went well.  She said my essay was good - multiple definitions of value judged by primary sources (dictionaries/theorists) then defined on my own terms.  I had a good density of references, although I could have compressed them by saying x, y, z all have this idea, rather than spelling them out one at a time.

Utilise Gilligan's Theory of Care -v- Justice.  Demonstrate how the Theory of Care operates.  How it is overlooked in the wider community.  How does it underpin my choices in embroidery?  Demonstrate how the underlying value of caring represents women's voice.

Maintain sophistication.

Be clear about Method - Data Collection - Inspiration and suggestion.

Person - care focus
Interview - family members
Transcribe - Identify themes/pattern/trend.

Playful evolution of data into imagery.

It's ok to treat data gathering/analysis like a fishing expedition - use an intuitive approach to find the salient points.

Use this weekend's workshop with Tilleke Schwartz to develop composition and making technique.
Identify "my frame" - my selection of topics and her values.

Play on Joan's underlying economy of representation.

The report was too descriptive.  I need to maximise the point of the theory essay by linking with my current activity.  Demonstrate how my theoretical reading fertilises and supports my work.  Demonstrate how theory underpins my work by incorporating it.

Next term's report is all about my rationale for doing what I have done, the way I have done it.  Use my blog as a resource log.  Document my Questions, my Method and Rationale throughout.  Appendix to show Aim; Questions; Methods.  Refer to original proposal.  Learning by doing.  Exploratory research.  Mixture of getting tighter with playfulness.  Quote and cite people on similar lines.   I can use my Theory Essay to contribute to the final report.


Then I went to my Feedback session for the Developing Project Proposal.  I was expecting to spend most of the time listening, for the assessors to say what went well/badly to support the mark and inform my practice for next term.  Instead I was interviewed - they asked lots of questions about why I had chosen samplers to work on, what informed my values, what would a 14 year old make of the samplers etc.  It was more like a Viva than feedback.  I was asked what conclusions I had drawn from last term, and what I had planned for next term.  I was not able to answer this, as it is a question that I would need time to consider.

There were some probing questions about what values I was investigating, but I did not get the drift from the phraseology.  Then Nick summed up that I was considering social and political values, and specifically the systematic under-valuing of certain values.  I was asked what the relationship was between the societal undervaluing and my making activity.  They probed as to why making a sampler was a female activity (whereas top fashion designers and tailors are men)  - and it transpired they wanted the answer that making samplers was not commercial.

Then we discussed the association of women with Caring.  It is as if, even in the academic environment, women are deemed to 'naturally' be caring!  I accept there may be a tendency for women to care more than men, but I dispute it being associated with all women. I, for one, am not one of life's carers.  This is a point I need to make.  Some women operate with a strong caring value; others do not.  I don't like this blanket labelling.

Adding text (to what?  the sampler?  an artist statement?) gives cues.  Artwork needs explanation in an artist statement.

Look at Sophie Calle.  Look at Derek Jarman's Garden.

Connections with style of work.  (Not sure what this means).  Put Curating in context - what your sources are.

I feel none the wiser for my feedback. And I appeared to be the only one from our class who was grilled for 25 minutes, whereas everyone else had 10 minutes max, just listening.

Like I said, not my greatest day!  Feeling seriously hacked off and frustrated.

Two days on - I continue to feel hacked off, but have it more in perspective.  To be quite honest, I would quite happily walk away from the course.  It is an administrative shambles.  We are being allocated theory tutors who don't know our subject.  My supervisor who guides my work is not involved in the assessment of it, so the assessors are marking my work blind.  And the quality of the feedback on our work is the final insult.  I am a former workplace assessor, who has given and received much feedback.  My assessment of their feedback would be to rate their work as 40%, i.e. a fail.  They did not state what went well (with examples), they did not state what went badly (with examples), they did not advise on what to carry forward, or what to discard.  The university policy is to 'feed forward'.  I don't even know what this means ... it has not been defined!

Exploring Identity through art media

We had a great class with Vanda on Monday.  We were doing mono printing, exploring how identity can be expressed via a specific media, and how art as process can express that identity.  Most class members were doing mark making using a selection of colours.

My work was different (as usual!) because I was monoprinting with leaves.  I had been thinking about Aunt Joan, and how her daughter Allison had said she created planting borders, inspired by Hidcote and Sissinghurst, in single colours - a purple border, red border etc.  So I worked with a purple printing ink, and created a series of works on lining paper, which ended up with a positive image, a negative image and a combination.  This showed how the identity of eachplant was the same, but the outcome was dramatically different.