Coming to terms with frustrations with writing

For the first 2 months of this year, I really struggled to make any progress with my writing.  Actually I didn't make any progress for the first 6 weeks, and had to force myself to write in the last 2 weeks.  So instead, for the first 6 weeks, I focussed myself on creating a sketchbook about the objects that toilet cleaners use.

It's a different mindset for me.  When in art class (I do nearly all of my artwork in a class), I find it really easy to get into flow.  Before the class, I idly wonder whether it will be a more productive class, or a less productive class for me - because I am aware my output varies considerably.  But I'm not bothered about it.  Whereas I am bothered about whether my writing is 'good', on target, articulate, makes salient points, well referenced - in fact any criteria by which it can be judged.

When at art class, I usually end up with 5/6 attempts at an exercise.  I'm really calm about the outputs - I know the first couple are usually naff, and that one will be really quite pleasing, another later one will be naff.  And I don't know which one will be the one, that conveys whatever it was, that I was thinking about.  Naff pages are part of the process.  And I'm quite ok about this.  Possibly because I like the end product of 'The Sketchbook'. I like to see the exploration of a subject, and you need naff pages to show how thorough the exploration was, so they need to be kept and included in the record.  I also like to see notes on the facing page that explain what I was thinking about, who was inspiring the work, what media were used, and the order of activities.

I like being able to submit sketchbooks, particularly concertinas, for assessment because they get a good response from other students.  Is this because they are unusual?  Because it is easier for the viewer to read from their own perspective? Because they can be handled? Because of the tactile qualities and visual variation?  Because of what they are not - not monochrome, not blocks of text, not close focus?

I have to say, I am delighted with the Toilet Cleaners sketchbook I have made.  And a month on, I can see that it is an equally valid demonstration of research and thought, as a written piece of work.  As an artist, why do I feel research has to be demonstrated through writing?  Is it the focus of British education?

So, I need to apply my 'ok-ness' about art and sketchbooks to my writing process.

1.  When I write, I don't know whether it will be a more or less productive writing session. This is ok.
2.  My output varies considerably in quality - and this is ok.
3.  Each writing session will produce a certain number of paragraphs.  The first will usually be quite naff, but there will be one, that will be ok.  But I don't know which one it will be.  So I have to write them all.  This is ok.
4.  If I want to see the exploration, and the evidence of process, I need to print more small bits, and keep them in a 'Writing Sketchbook' so I have a tangible artefact.  Electronic versions don't do it for me and I don't want lots of e-versions cluttering up the memory.  It's important to EASILY identify the most recent version.
5.  Maybe I'm finding the writing hard because, at heart, I'm an artist!